Attraction (-trkshn) n.: The action of drawing forth a powerful, intimate and romantic emotional response from another person. Attraction is an emotion. It's an emotion and a bodily reaction that's similar to adrenaline. You can't force yourself to feel it, nor can you avoid feeling it. There's no real logic involved in attraction and oftentimes logic and attraction are actually dueling forces. When you are deciding whom to commit to, you will usually deal with the logic versus attraction debate.
Often in my dating coachingI deal with clients who say or have heard these points. "He's incredible: smart, funny, charming, good looking. But I just don't have those types of feelings for him"? Or, "My parents love her and she's so much fun but I'm just not into her"? Within three to six months, people who pursue logical relationships without attraction will feel so frustrated they want to explode. It's just not a successful long-term strategy. Regardless of how much sense the relationship may seem to make, if you don't feel the emotion of attraction for someone then the relationship won't survive.
Attraction is such a powerful emotion that it can suck you into some completely irrational situations. If you're deeply attracted to someone but the relationship just doesn't make sense whatsoever, you will certainly want to seek advice from trusted friends and family before making any decisions. Remember, attraction is one of the deepest emotions you can feel and so it sometimes overrides every sensible cell in your brain.
People can't decide to whom they're attracted. It happens all the time – you meet someone, you're attracted to them and the relationship is very logical, but he or she tells you that you two are better off "just being friends." The other person knows that you are the "right" person for them, but cannot choose to feel attraction for you. This is why the dreaded "friend zone" exists. What's most fascinating about attraction – and the reason why dating coachingcurrently exists – is that people cannot always choose whom they are not attracted to. Sure, they can try and reason with themselves and say, "That person isn't successful enough for me," or "That person isn't good looking enough," but the emotion of attraction will usually win over their hearts. This is why you can succeed in dating and attraction just by understanding how to create this intense emotion. It's just like learning how to make people laugh: by practicing certain proven techniques, even the dullest person can make people laugh. Just as everyone has the capacity for humor inside of them, we all have attractive identities inside of us. When put together, these two qualities make up an attractive personality.